| September 15 | | | Red Tried Powdered Sugar, Flour and Talcum Powder |
| September 12 | | | And The Ones At Taco Bell Are Practically Free Anyway |
| September 10 | | | The Waterbed Is Good Place To Be When The Strobe-Induced Seizures Start |
| September 8 | | | Red Doesn’t Own Any Box Sets For This Very Reason |
| September 5 | | | Billy Is Also Very Excited About The Whole “Smashing Boards” Thing |
| September 3 | | | It Makes It Worse Because Red Secretly Wishes He Had A Bandana Too |
| August 29 | | | I Bet You’ve Totally Forgotten About Remo’s Dog Too Haven’t You |
| August 27 | | | It Would Be Fun Until They Played An Entire Team Of Agent Smiths |
| August 25 | | | Gotta Make A Move To A Town That’s Right For Me |
| August 22 | | | Luther Would Tell You But He Doesn’t Like Crossword Puzzles And He’s Also Dead |
| July 7 | | | Remo Never Asks Why People Want Him To Count at Parties |
| July 4 | | | 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42 |
| July 2 | | | The Regulars Consider the Flies to Just Be Extra Protein |
| June 30 | | | Except For That One Guy With The Cellophane Candy Wrapper |
| June 27 | | | His Plan B Was To Juggle While Singing Night Ranger Power Ballads |
| June 25 | | | Plus The Store Was Totally Out Of Cool Ranch |
| June 23 | | | His Jokes Still Use The Term “Whippity” |
| June 20 | | | No, Remo, She Was Calling “Shotgun” |
| June 18 | | | The Cheat Codes Don’t Work In Real Life Though |
| June 13 | | | You Can Actually Get A Higher Score by Setting Down the Wiimote |
| June 11 | | | It’s Actually the Ninth Tenet, Just After “Never Run With Scissors” |
| June 9 | | | Red Went Last Year But It Was As An Usher |
| June 6 | | | His Spam Filter Died Of Boredom Weeks Ago |
| June 4 | | | And He Hasn’t Even Tried Advanced Mode Yet |
| June 2 | | | And Why Did Roseanne’s Daughter Change Her Name Before Becoming A Doctor |
| May 30 | | | Actually It Means “First Word, First Syllable” |
| May 28 | | | Swingline Told Him EIGHT SEPARATE TIMES |
| May 26 | | | Remo Has No Memory Of Watching CSI This Week But It’s For A Different Reason |
| May 23 | | | Maybe It Was Because They Didn’t Presoak Anything |
| May 21 | | | Good Thing They Purchased The Extended Service Plan |
| May 19 | | | This Isn’t The First Time He’s Dreamt About A Cotton Gin But It’s Never Been A Golden One Before |
| May 16 | | | What’s Worse Is That It Was The Kenny Loggins Tune From That Stallone Arm Wrestling Movie |
| May 14 | | | And She Sees Right Through Any of His Attempts at Romance |
| May 12 | | | He Seems Okay With the “Mr. Toady” Part Though |
| May 9 | | | No Now He’s Over There Again |
| May 7 | | | Just Wait Until You See What She Orders at Chili’s Though |
| May 5 | | | Actually They Can Still Be Seen and Now Her Turn Signal Is On |
| April 25 | | | Then It’ll Be Another Twenty Minutes Before She Remembers Her Password |
| April 23 | | | The Hamburglar Has a Secret Alter-Ego But He’s In Prison Too |
| April 21 | | | What’s Really Creepy is that Mayor McCheese is Somehow Her Blood Relative |
| April 18 | | | Old Man Fork’s Just Mad After the Whole Lawn Gnome Incident |
| April 16 | | | You Could Say He “Knocked ’Em Dead” but Please, Please Don’t |
| April 14 | | | At Least General Zod Can Look Back and Laugh About It Now |
| April 11 | | | And How Many Times Has Red Said that They Should Put the China Cabinet Up Against the Wall |
| April 9 | | | Most People Don’t Know That They’re Actually the Same Person |
| April 7 | | | Actually French has That Letter But No One Ever Uses It |
| April 4 | | | Well Now He’s Learned Something About Her |
| April 2 | | | He’s Right You’d Be Amazed at How Flat It Is |
| March 31 | | | Red’s Just Trying to Use Them Up Because He’s Too Scared to Throw Them Away |
| March 28 | | | Swingline Actually Knows He Is Ba’hai For Reasons He Won’t Go Into |
| March 26 | | | The Weirdest Thing is that Remo Knows her Driver’s License Number |
| March 24 | | | But Now Swingline Is A Penny Richer For His Trouble |
| March 21 | | | Apparently the Mango Flavored One is Kind of Nasty |
| March 19 | | | Oh for Pete’s Sake Don’t Try This at Home |
| March 17 | | | His Mom Doesn’t Even Like to Wear Makeup |
| March 14 | | | Remo Always Chooses Wario Because He Likes Yellow |
| March 12 | | | Candlelight Dinners Are Fun As Long As Nothing Catches Fire |
| March 10 | | | Finding a New DVD Player at a Club is Also Futile |
| March 7 | | | Unlike the Corn-Nut Duopoly Which is Something Completely Different |
| March 5 | | | She Even Has A PayPal Account Set Up For Just This Kind of Situation |
| March 3 | | | Does Anyone Actually Know How To Play Backgammon |
| February 29 | | | Last Time They Used Duct Tape And Red Blacked Out |
| February 27 | | | A Week Later Brenda Didn’t Think He Was Hott Anymore |
| February 25 | | | Ostriches Are Mean Man I’d Take the Challenge |
| February 22 | | | He’ll Want To Adjust the Little Nosepiece Thingies |
| February 20 | | | He’s Not So Sure Now |
| February 18 | | | Which Works Out to About 8 Octillion Watts |
| February 15 | | | Remo Was Going To Show Off His Tattoo |
| February 13 | | | He Floated Down But It Was a Really Fast Float |
| February 11 | | | Maybe Remo Just Has His Headphones On |
| February 8 | | | Really I Mean How Can You Really Tell |
| February 6 | | | Almost All the Way |
| February 4 | | | He’s Also Better at Real-Life Tetris |
| February 1 | | | Actually a Lot of People Do But Only When They’re Sleeping |
| January 30 | | | Mark King Also Enjoys Pot Pies |
| January 28 | | | He Did Say Flah A Few Weeks Ago Though |
| January 25 | | | They’d Watch It Even If He Got Season 7 Again |
| January 23 | | | Now the Squirrel Has an Agent |
| January 21 | | | And the Dog Got Dirty Again Right Afterward |
| January 18 | | | He’s Also Really Good at Saying Stuff |
| January 16 | | | Es-Yay |
| January 14 | | | Remo Never Actually Denies Being a Pansy |
| January 11 | | | Punchy Demonstrates Techniques on the Wimpier Icons |
| January 9 | | | It Was That Or Get A Medical Transcriptionist Degree |
| January 7 | | | Pen-Jetski is Something Totally Different |
| January 4 | | | Duck Armor is a Lot Cheaper Than Ostrich Armor |
| January 2 | | | Not Like 2002 Which Was a Dry Year for Water |
